Dear Sunshine

I don't really know why I'm writing this. What is done is done. I feel like I'm clearing up loose ends for something that doesn't need to be cleared.

Why I chose to end it now 

First of all, I realized Sheryl Sandberg is right. You need to date many guys. But she didn't say why; it's because you, and many other young women, need to experience heartbreak. Each time you come away a little older, a little wiser. And I need to date many girls too, because I too need the heartbreak to walk away that little bit older and wiser.

Also, I realized there is no way we could handle the relationship when I am working 50+/60+ hours a week on my future job in public with no time to see you for maybe months on end. And I would rather it end like this than turn into something bitter and abusive. Then you'd really not want to get married, which would be a loss for men everywhere.

So yesterday I thought, just stay with me until graduation, and then by then you'd be sick enough of each other to just move on. But then I realized I didn't want to see you suffer for two whole years, or one year, or any amount of time. I felt like I had no choice but to end it today.

And then, there is a third reason, perhaps for later discussion.

On my mother

I think this was by far the biggest mistake in the relationship.

But I feel like I owe you an explanation of what my mother really said. I didn't lie - she approved of you. But she said this, "Chris, please just stay friends. She's not old enough. Give it a few years, and I think she'll end up a nice girl. If I'm wrong, just leave her." Her advice unfortunately came too little too late.

And yes, my mom did say you should get your teeth done - but she said so in a way that was concerned about you. My mom does not care how my gf looks like, trust me. And coming from her life, I think she knows a thing or two about how women are oppressed in the workforce. She simply doesn't want you to suffer the same fate as her.

I am not going to attempt to convince you; that is simply her viewpoint.

On you

I think I never really failed to compliment you properly in the relationship; this is a flaw of my own calculative upbringing, and it shows.

• You're very fit, clearly by all the running and dancing you do. I will be hard put to find another girl with a better body, and I think this is the main reason why you get so much male attention in general. When or if you do have a husband, I hope you have sex with him regularly.
• You're not noisy; look at Jin / Ravina / Clarissa as examples of the totally undateable. I think other guys can see this in your personality and it's the other main reason why you get so much attention.
• You don't ask for a lot of unnecessarily expensive stuff, at least not in the months I have dated you. I believe and hope you will keep this trait all your life. Humility is a great virtue.

So I don't want you to see yourself as hopeless or useless. I want you to see this as an opportunity. You now have the chance to move on and meet a guy more suited to you than I. He definitely exists - there are some 3 billion men on this planet, so it's statistically impossible not to. I encourage you to go out and seize the day.

Concluding Remarks

I think I should explain the third reason I broke up with you. You are going to be a corporate lawyer, so you should know how to examine and even write loopholes in arguments.

I wrote previously that if you leave my side, I will not let you back - this is my principle. But today, I decided to leave yours. Thus this criteria has not been fulfilled, and so one day (depending on circumstances) I may let you come back to date me again. But not now; like my mother says, I will give you at least a few years and see how it goes. And I request you to give me that time as well.

I will always remember you: you are the first girl that willingly called yourself my girlfriend, the first girl who held my hand, my first kiss. You have done well. And by that, it's just as hard for me to break up with you as it is for you to accept it. No one said breakups were easy.

Remember what I said: there is no use crying because it's over. You need to smile because it happened. 

With the warmest regards.